A Good Day

Today is a good day -- and maybe it's just my perspective because yesterday was such a BAD day. Let me back up a bit. On Monday I decided to buy a new phone. As I've made everyone reading aware, I live at nearly 9200 ft above sea level. Which is another way of saying I live in the middle of nowhere. There are no cell towers where I live and cell reception is absolutely non-existent. For the past 2+ years I've had Verizon and have used their network extender, which really doesn't extend my signal to more than 1 bar (on a good day). So I decided to take the plunge and go with the latest and greatest phone from T-Mobile. The Samsung Galaxy S III makes and takes calls over wireless so it was perfect for up here on my mountain.

Anyway, I ordered the phone on Monday. As soon as I ordered it I realized that I ported over my old number to my new phone and realized that if the new phone didn't come in within the 24 hours it was supposed to come in I would be without a cell phone. So I called Customer Service, who assured me that the phone would be there Tuesday afternoon, right about the time my old phone number ported over to the new phone. Okay, I was happy.

The next morning I found out that they had already ported my number. I checked the shipping tracking number and the found out that UPS decided my phone wasn't important enough to ship within 24 hours and decided that 4 day shipping was more appropriate. I freaked out and called both T-Mobile and Verizon who said it was too late to un-port my number and that I would just have to wait until Friday to have a new phone. I gritted my teeth and said FINE!

So Friday (yesterday) came. I called UPS to make sure that they were on their way. I was assured that they were. Around 12:00 I checked the tracking number and it said that my package had already been delivered. Um...what? So I checked the front and side decks and there was no package to be seen. I called UPS Customer Service and they said that there was a note that the package was left on my front deck. Fail.

On a hunch, I drove down to the bottom of my driveway. Sure enough, hanging from a tree was my new phone (in a clear garbage bag to save it from the falling snow, I'm sure). Feeling phone-deprived for the better part of a week I drove back up to the house and ripped into the packaging. I admired it's light weight. I oohed over it's pretty blue color. I turned it on. Then I peeled off the protective sticker and saw...

That the bottom of the screen was completely cracked. AAUUGGGHHH!!!!!

I called T-Mobile Customer Service. She acted like she was doing me the hugest favor ever by sending me a new phone. I literally screamed at her like she was one of my children (did I just write that?) when she said it would get here Monday. It took a while to calm me down. Oh, who am I kidding I'm STILL mad.

Anyway, as I said at the beginning of this post (which I realize was quite a while ago now), today was a good day. I took my cracked phone to N's gymnastics meet and recorded her beam routine. It was a very good meet for her, the judging was fair and she got 2nd place on beam and floor. She got 4th place on bars and All Around. Her bar routine was flawless until the dismount, which had too much power and she ended up taking a few steps and almost falling over. Such a bummer, she would have easily taken bars and first place All Around if she had stuck her landing (which she had in warm-up just minutes before). Oh well, she still had a good day and is pretty happy with all of her medals.

October Blues

I guess I need to accept that winter is pretty much here now. It was in the 60s and 70s last week and now nothing over 40F in the foreseeable forecast. Yuck! And they're calling for 4-5 inches of snow tonight. I sure hope my tires are still good on the Sequoia...

So it turns out that miscarrying a baby takes longer than I ever thought it would. The ultrasound last week showed a sac but no baby and that it probably stopped developing at 5w1d. Which would correspond with the day I first started spotting. My numbers had only risen about a hundred or so. I knew it was over and stopped taking the progesterone. Within a few days the bleeding started and a week later it's still going. I just want it to be over already!

J2 is driving me crazy. Why can't the kid get his algebra and chemistry grades up? If he could just pass this year then his senior year will be a cake walk. I just want to hit him over the head and knock some sense into him.

N has another gymnastics meet this weekend. The last few have been underscored and it's kind of bummed her out. Apparently there are a few judges in the area that strongly dislike our gym owner and want to take it out on the girls. So unfair. Hopefully we get the good judges this weekend!

C is supposed to be napping right now but I hear her upstairs banging around. I'm thinking about going up there and doing something about it but I have a meeting with my boss in a bit and then I'm considering taking a nap...which I can't do if C is awake then. So I think I'll let her bang around some more up there for a while and then she and I can snuggle together -- just the perfect thing to do in this yucky weather!

Updates

After reading my previous blog I realized that I had forgotten a few key updates...

The drama with N's teacher eventually came to a head and we decided that we had to do something. Knowing that N is exceptionally bright (yes, that's a shameless brag there :P) we decided to have her tested for third grade. She passed with flying colors (and a six+ grade reading level!) and her life as a second grader came to an end after only two weeks. She's been happy in her new class and still pulling As :)

N's doing well at her meets but while her floor and beam routine look great, her bars are not as spectacular as they once were. Hopefully she can get some of her mojo back there.

J1 is working a lot and hopefully staying out of trouble. He got into a car accident a few weeks ago and his head went through the side window. The people he was with were drag-racing while drunk. I can't believe how unbelievably stupid he can be sometimes and still manage to survive.

J2 decided in early September that he no longer wanted to be homeschooled. It was with great reluctance that I allowed him to go back to public school. You see, he's always had a difficult time around people. He can't seem to focus on anything and tends to stare at the paint on the walls. But he really wanted to do this and I know a diploma from an accredited high school is worth more than what I can give him being homeschooled. The first couple weeks were okay. Since then he's been floundering and I'm desperately hoping he can pull up his two Fs in Algebra and Chemistry. How can I have one kid who skips a grade and another two (the boys, of course) who can't seem to get it together?!

Nothing new to report with C. Only that her hair is growing back and she almost looks like her haircut was intentional.

Rollercoaster Ride

Where do I begin? Did this really happen to me? Is it still happening?

I have four children. I had the first two when I was a teenager. Turns out that teenagers are unexpectedly fertile because I didn't exactly have to work hard at getting pregnant. The first was an oops. The second was planned, but still didn't require a whole lot of work to get that way.

My girls were born when I was 29 and 33 years old. Everything went well, no major drama as far as the pregnancies were concerned (minus the fact that I had to have my labor stopped twice with C at 25 weeks). I've never had a miscarriage. Those happened to other people. I was made to make babies; obviously I've carried four of the buggers without major complications.

I thought I was done having children. Well, I was. My husband, on the other hand, wasn't ready to call it quits. But on Sunday, September 30th I was feeling weird. My period was supposed to come that day but it wasn't there. I tested the next day but it came up negative. Still, I suspected I was pregnant. The next morning I took another test and it was positive.

I've never exactly been a fan of being pregnant but I was starting to get on board. We wanted to be prudent and not tell anybody, but after I told a close friend she accidentally spilled the beans to her daughter, who happens to be a good friend of N. I knew we couldn't expect a seven year old to keep that kind of secret from N so we decided to tell the kids. Once the kids knew then of course everybody was in on the news. No big deal, though, I told myself. It's not like I'd ever had a problem with any of my pregnancies before. No reason to think I would this time, right?

It was a mixture of arrogance and ignorance that I missed the symptoms. Pregnant women aren't supposed to have acne. I normally have clear skin with the occasional zit around that time of the month. I bragged that I didn't have morning sickness. Pregnancy symptoms came and went.

I was five weeks and one day when the spotting began. I figured that I had just overdone it the day before and wasn't excessively worried, but I figured that it couldn't hurt to have a blood test done to make sure. I went into the hospital and had my blood drawn. That was Monday.

On Tuesday I was still spotting, but it was just that: spotting. Light brown and not something that most people would take too seriously. I didn't actually think anything was really wrong. After all, miscarriages happened to other people. I still anxiously waited for the call from the doctor to tell me that everything was fine so I could put my mind at ease.

The call finally came that afternoon but it wasn't what I expected. The nurse told me that my progesterone levels were extremely low (6.7). Apparently they wanted my levels to be at least a 15. My HCG levels were low as well (281). I asked to be put on progesterone supplements, she told me that the doctor didn't feel that it would help me. I asked if they could recheck my blood and she told me to come in Wednesday morning and see what happens.

I cried. A lot. The baby that I never wanted was suddenly something I would do anything to save. I bought progesterone cream from the health food store and prayed and prayed for a miracle. 

The next morning I had my blood redrawn. The hours crawled by as I waited for them to call me back with the results. I must have called the office ten times only to be told that I'd have to wait for somebody to call me back. Finally, they called and informed me that my numbers did go up. Maybe not quite as much as they'd hoped but they climbed up to 403. Once again I begged for progesterone and they agreed to prescribe it to me. They asked me to come in for another blood draw on Friday to confirm that my numbers were starting to double as they were supposed to.

I felt confident. I believed that God was granting a miracle. I just knew that Friday's blood draw would show my number to be in the 800s as it was supposed to be and that the medical community would chalk it up to a miracle baby and I would go on to have another boring and uneventful pregnancy. Imagine my shock, then, when I got the numbers back only to find that they had not doubled and were only at 589, with a progesterone level at 11. They told me to stop the progesterone and let nature take its course.

Instead, I made an appointment for Monday and continued to take the progesterone through the weekend. I know I'm probably only delaying the inevitable. I likely would already be cramping and bleeding without it. But I need proof that it's really over. I need either another blood test with the numbers going down or a sonogram to show me that there's not a tiny heart beating away at six weeks and one day. I've seen too many close call stories online to just give up so quickly and without a fight.

So tomorrow is my appointment. I know it's probably not going to happen for me this time and that miscarriages do happen to me too. I pray that God decides to give me a miracle but I can honestly say that I am at peace with whatever happens. Either I'll be celebrating a pregnancy or I'll be drinking a glass of wine tomorrow night. One way or another I'll have a smile on my face and peace in my heart.

And next time I get a positive pregnancy test I'll meet it with an entirely different perspective. Not only will I view it as a gift instead of taking it for granted, but I'll wait the entire three months without telling anybody but my husband. We'll wait on pins and needles together until it's safe to hope again.